you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
Randomize
