Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
only if we run a train.
done.
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
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