So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
I understand Curling. That high.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
Randomize
