I think i ate a live goldfish last night. that i caught with my hand in a kiddie pool. my stomach really hurts.
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Randomize
