P.S. I can't hear my feet
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
My ATM looks so different sober.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize
