I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
Randomize
