Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
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