A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
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