God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
Randomize