Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
Randomize