My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
Randomize
