party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize
