So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
its not stalking. its research.
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
Randomize
