I wish I could teleport
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize
