just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
Randomize
