hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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