I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
Randomize
