our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
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