Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
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