Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
only you would photoshop your dick
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
Randomize
