i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
Randomize
