would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
i love accidental penises.
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
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