Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize
