OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
Randomize
