Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
Randomize