he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
Randomize
