Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
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