if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
i drank out of a bidet.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
