I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
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