this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
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