Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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