Non-Jews are for practice
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
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