so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
I checked into jail on foursquare
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
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