3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Randomize
