So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
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