Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
Randomize
