Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
