My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
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