i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
Randomize
