And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
I just sucked dick on a ferry
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
Randomize
