i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
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