he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
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