He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Randomize
