After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
Randomize