well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
Randomize
