I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job
Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
Randomize
