Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
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