Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
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