awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Randomize
