Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
