Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
Randomize
