i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
Randomize
