she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
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