when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
Randomize
