I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
Four minutes until I can fart!
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
