I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
Randomize
