I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
Randomize
