We named our party play list daddy issues
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
